


Corruption

by Asexualpackleader



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Doubt, Dreams, Hybrids, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Original Character(s), Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 15:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asexualpackleader/pseuds/Asexualpackleader
Summary: He's never been gone for this long. Whenever Corruption took one of us, it was only about an hour or so before we were thrown back into the tiny cell. And now they've been gone for almost 4 hours...I have posted this on my Wattpad account under the username packleaderBriggan13.
Relationships: Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

He's never been gone for this long. Whenever Corruption took one of us, it was only about an hour or so before we were thrown back into the tiny cell. And now they've been gone for almost 4 hours... 

Le magical timeskip  
*4 hours earlier*

I was praying that he didn't come back. Corruption never stays away for long; always coming back to torment us whenever something pisses him off. 

Emile and I do our best to take the worst of it. Caleb has already been through so much at the hands of this psychopath! He doesn't deserve any more. Besides, I don't think he can take anything else.

But Patton? Patton is a whole other story. I swore to Logan that I would do my best to keep him safe. I intend to keep that promise to my last breath, if that's what it takes. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep Patton safe from this monster.

Emile and Caleb were talking softly. Caleb had had another panic attack and Emile was calming him down. Doubt's multicolored wings were shaking and curled tightly around his body. Emile was gently stroking the vibrant orange feathers, calming him down. 

That's one of the only good things about this hell: at least we have a licensed therapist with us! It's good to have someone who knows what to do in situations like these. Not ideal, obviously, but helpful nonetheless.

The fabric was all around us. All of our dresses were the big poofy kind, the kind that takes up a lot of room. I didn't really care. I've been here for almost three and a half weeks; there's some things you get used to over time. Dealing with the cumbersome dresses was one of them.

Patton was curled up in my lap, his head burrowed into my neck. My sea green dress meshed well with his baby blue one. I have to hand it to him: even though Corruption is a sick and twisted psychopath, he has one fine fashion sense. All of the dresses were absolutely stunning!

I had my arms wrapped around Patton, resting my head on the top of his. I was exhausted but there's no way I was going to sleep. There's just something in the air today that I can't quite place... But it feels dangerous. Something's going to happen and I'm positive that none of us are going to like it.

Patton's stomach growled and he stirred. He opened his eyes and looked around. I could tell he'd been hoping that all of this was just a bad dream. Honestly, I did too. Every time I opened my eyes down here, I hoped that something had changed, some small part to make this more bearable. But nothing ever did.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hey Az," he said sleepily. 

"Hey Pat," I whispered,"how'd you sleep?" 

He shrugged, "I don't know, it was the same as usual." 

I nodded. I wish I could sleep like he could. Patton had only been with us for two days, not long enough at all to grasp the true horrors that happened here. Anytime I close my eyes, I'm haunted by the memories. If I do sleep, I'm only awakened by nightmares. It's nothing but an endless cycle of pain, terror, and the awful numbness that comes after every trauma.

Patton sighed and curled into me again. His glasses were slightly askew as he leaned on me, nuzzling into my shoulder.

"What's up?" I asked, running my hand through his hair.

"Something just feels... off. I don't really know what it is, but it scares me." 

My stomach dropped. He felt it too? I'd hoped I was just going insane. I don't know how much more I can take! If I'm right and I'm not the only one to sense it... I don't want to get hurt again. I'm definitely not going to let Patton get hurt, though! If it comes down to it, as it has before, I will offer myself and I won't hesitate. I'm going to do everything I can to keep Patton, Patton for as long as I can.

I hugged him tighter, sighing. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'll go for as long as I can, I'll offer myself to Corruption for as long as I can... But I'm already exhausted. 

Maybe 15 minutes later, our worst nightmare came true. The awful feeling of danger had been correct. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as the door flew open, revealing Corruption in all his glitchy glory... And he was mad.

He stalked toward us and smiled THAT smile. I pushed Patton off my lap hastily and moved him behind me. Emile did the same with Caleb before reaching his hand out to me. I grasped it tightly, vowing to myself that I would die before Corruption got past me.

He flung the door of the cell open so hard it clanged against the bars and tried to swing shut again. He caught it and growled. I shuddered at the sound. It was a horrible grating and it seemed to echo in the small room.

He walked forward, eyeing each of us with hungry stares. I could feel Emile start shivering and Caleb was shaking. Patton, who was still huddled behind me, had his face buried in my skirt. I could tell that he was shaking; not as bad as Caleb, but he was still panicking.

Corruption stood before us, staring down at us with a sneer. "I'm n-not in a ver-ery good m-mood," he snarled, "so whic-ch one o-of you is go-oing to m-make m-me v-very ha-happy?"

None of us answered, too scared to open our mouths. I couldn't meet his gaze so I quickly looked down. Emile just glared at him. 

"N-no?" Corruption asked. Again, no response.

In a flash, his boot had sailed up, making direct and heavy contact with the side of Emile's head. He let out a pained yelp, tumbling onto his side. Our joined hands were broken and I flinched, my hands immediately going over my head. I hoped to protect myself from any incoming blows, but I realized my mistake just too late.

In that moment where Caleb and Patton were exposed, Corruption lunged. He went straight for Patton, grabbing his hair and starting to drag him across the floor. 

Caleb grabbed Corruption's ankle and pulled, trying to get him to stop! Without missing a beat, Corruption spun and stomped down hard on Caleb's wing. He screamed and there was a crack as the bone shattered.

Patton was sobbing, trying to struggle and hold on to something, anything, to stay with us!

"PATTON!" I screeched.

"AZURE!" He screamed back. His voice was full of pain and fear. The sound of it completely broke me. 

Like someone had flicked a switch inside of me, I lunged for Corruption. I didn't know what I was going to do, I just knew that he wasn't going to hurt Patton. I wouldn't let him.

My dress flowed behind me for a short second before I slammed into Corruption. I knocked him to the ground, making his hold on Patton loosen. 

As soon as he was free, Patton scrambled back to Caleb and Emile. I could hear Caleb crying and his feathers rustling together. Emile was trying to help both Caleb and Patton, who were both hysterical.

I didn't look back, keeping my eyes focused on the glitching figure before me. My shoulders hunched and I could feel my front teeth begin to grow. 

Corruption slowly picked himself up, glaring at me. I won't lie and say that his stare didn't terrify me. I was shaking, but I couldn't let him get past me. I couldn't let him hurt Patton and the others! I refused!

"H-how da-are you?" He snarled, "Is t-that anyw-way to treat your m-mast-er?"

I gulped, my eyes wide. What have I done? 'I protected the others,' I told myself harshly, 'anything that happens now, will happen to protect them.'

He launched himself at me and, even though everything inside of me told me to run, I reared back and met him. My rabbit teeth were bared and little claws poked out of my finger tips. He slapped me, hard, but I took the opportunity to bite down just as hard on his arm. He grunted, trying to pull his arm away. But my jaw had clamped down and I didn't intend on letting go. 

He waved his arm back and forth trying to get me off, but I just hung there, not letting my grip loosen. My hand went around his forearm and my claws pierced his skin. At the same time, my teeth finally penetrated his skin and blood flowed into my mouth.

I instinctively wanted to let go and get the horrid stuff out, but Patton's and Caleb's quiet sobs from behind me reminded me why I was doing this. Patton would not be hurt, no matter what Corruption did to me.

Corruption slammed me against the bars of the cage. I gasped in pain, my jaw loosening. I tried to clamp down again, but it was too late! He shoved me back and I tripped over the cursed skirt. I fell to the ground, smacking hard into the cement.

Within seconds, Corruption was on top of me. He'd straddled my waist, and roughly raised my hands over my head. I screamed and tried to buck him off, but it didn't do anything. I tried lunging at his throat, baring my teeth and hoping to make contact. He slapped me and my head rocketed back into the ground. My vision went black around the edges and pain overwhelmed me.

He started grinding down on my hips and I started sobbing. A different kind of pain began to swarm my senses. I didn't want this again! Not again! I squeaked and tried gulping down air, but all I got was his lips forcing down on mine. I screamed and cried and tried to get out from under him, but nothing I did seemed to faze him.

And then a voice. "STOP!" It was choked and heavy from crying, but it was loud enough to get Corruption's attention. "You're hurting them!" 

Slowly, Corruption leaned away from me, looking at the speaker. I was sobbing too hard to do anything, trying to curl into myself. But with Corruption still pressing down on my midsection, I couldn't move.

"O-oh? What a-are you go-going t-to do a-about it, M-Moral-lity?" He hissed. 

"I'll go with you! Please, just leave them alone! I'll go with you, I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt them!"

I started to sob even harder. No, no, NO! Please, just let Corruption keep going! Just let him hurt me! Don't let him touch Patton! I wanted to scream and shout and tell him no! That as long as he was safe, I would be okay! I wanted to yell at Corruption to just pay attention to me, just keep hurting me. Don't touch Patton!

Corruption looked down at me, a malicious grin spreading over his twisted and scarred face. 

'No.' My eyes were wide as I stared at him. Silently, I begged him to keep going. Don't pay attention to Patton, just focus on me! 

He glanced between me, then Patton, and back again. Like a striking snake, he lunged back down and shoved his lips back onto mine. My body wanted me to scream, but my heart was soaring! He was going to keep going with me! Patton would be safe! 

But my euphoria in that moment was cut short as Corruption ground his hips into mine one more time before climbing off and jerking me to my feet. My legs wouldn't hold me and I almost collapsed, heavy sobs once again wracking my body.

This can't be happening! I made a promise! I swore that I would keep him safe! I can't let him get hurt, I can't! 

But it wasn't up to me anymore. Corruption shoved me forward and this time, I did collapse. Patton caught me as my legs gave out. He slid to the floor with me in his arms, both of us shaking. 

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" I cried, "Patton, no!"

He looked at me through blurry eyes and gave a tiny smile. "It'll be okay, Kiddo. I love you." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, rubbing my arms slightly. I leaned into him and burrowed my head into his neck. 

"I'll be okay, Kiddo," He whispered again, "I'll be okay. You're safe now! You're going to be okay!"

I shook my head violently. This couldn't be happening! How was he was so calm? I couldn't stand it. Nothing about this situation was okay! Nothing would ever be okay again! 

I kept mumbling, "Not to you, not this, not you," over and over again. But Patton had already made up his mind.

"Emile," he said, looking like he might start crying, "Take them."

"No!" I screeched. I tried clinging to him, trying not to let go! But Corruption had a hold on his arm and was pulling him up and out of my grasp. Emile wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me back. Caleb went to help, but backed away from my thrashing. He probably didn't want to injure his wing anymore than it already was. 

The door of the cage clanged shut and I wiggled out of Emile's grasp, crawling forward and trying to squeeze myself between the bars.

I screamed, clawing at Corruption's receding figure. Patton kept trying to look back at us, but Corruption jerked him back. 

And then... The wooden door that kept this place hidden swung shut.

Five minutes later, the screaming started.


	2. Part 2

It's been an hour and all I can do is just sit there and cry. I'm surprised I haven't cried myself dry yet! I didn't know a person could have this much to give. 

Emile and Caleb tried to distract me, but nothing they say will work. All I can think about is Patton.

💐💐💐

2 hours. 2 hours of listening to the hell that's happening to the Side who raised me. 2 hours of mind-numbing pain.

I'm not crying anymore. I just feel numb. 

Every time Patton screams, I flinch. But I can't do more than that.

💐💐💐

3 hours. I'm pacing now. How much longer is this going to go on? How long until I can hold him again and tell him that everything's going to be okay? 

But I can't do that. It would be a lie. We're not going to be okay. No one can recover from this.

💐💐💐

Patton and Corruption have been gone for almost four hours now. Four hours. FOUR. 

I was crying again. Less out of fear and pain, and more from anger.

I was amazed that I hadn't spontaneously combusted yet. I was shaking and grinding my teeth with my fists clenched. Every time I heard a scream, I would pound at the bars of the cage, undoubtedly bruising the skin all along my arms.

I think Emile and Caleb are scared of me. Emile tried to calm me down, but I squealed at him like an angry rodent. My teeth and claws came out and I grunted like an upset piglet. He hasn't tried since.

Caleb tried next. He approached me, feathers slightly puffed, trying to act bigger than he was. It didn't work. He was scared of me... I know that Patton is like his father too, but he was the quiet kind. He never liked speaking out about anything. I, on the other hand, have Remy and Roman as my brothers so... Yeah, I'm not quiet.

There was another scream, this one weaker than the others, and I was instantly back at the bars, pounding and trying to find a way out. Then, it was cut short. 

I stilled, straining my ears to pick up any sound. What happened? What's wrong? Why did it stop? What do I do? I began pacing again, growling. 

There were noises coming from the room. My hearing sharpened and I tried to focus in on them. All I could make out was rustling and the faint sound of footsteps.

The footsteps grew louder and the door was flung open. Corruption strode in, dragging what looked like a limp blue pile of rags. It was Patton.

As the door of the cage was flung open, all of my anger seemed to melt away. Fear and overwhelming concern took its place. 

I could hear quiet crying but it was clear that that's all Patton had the energy to do. Corruption jerked him into a standing position and then shoved him forward. He immediately collapsed, falling toward the ground like a ragdoll.

I caught him and sunk to the ground, sobbing and rocking him back and forth. Emile put himself between us and Corruption, while Caleb came up behind me and grasped Patton's limp hand in his own.

Corruption smiled at us. "I'll b-be bac-ck, p-pets," he said. I glared at him, tears streaming down my cheeks. He spun on his heel and walked out, slamming the door behind him. 

Emile immediately turned to Patton, Caleb, and I. "Is he alright?" 

I glared at him. "What do you think?" I hissed, "After everything that just happened, you ask if he's alright?" 

"Ok," he conceded, "I probably could have worded that better."

"You THINK?"

He put his hands up in surrender. "It's alright, Azure. It's okay. Just calm down."

I couldn't believe him! Calm down? Calm down?? I can't calm down! This is my fault! All of this is my fault! I can't calm down! 

Emile reached forward and tried to lay a hand on Patton's back. I know it was just meant as a comforting gesture but Patton flinched heavily at the touch. I almost lost it. I bared my teeth and squealed, high and long. Emile quickly backed up. 

Caleb was staring at me like I was insane. Maybe I was? I don't know anymore. I don't really care either.

I scooped Patton into my arms and lifted him up. We were barely fed down here so we'd all lost an incredibe amount of weight. I was kind of surprised I could pick him up, but he was just so light! Not surprising, but definitely not a good sign. He'd already tried starving himself.

Patton curled his face into my chest, whispering something over and over. I carried him over to a little corner of the cell and gently laid him down. I pulled his head into my lap and started running my fingers through his hair. He always did this when I was upset, back in the Light Side's place. Now it was my turn to return the favor.

Patton's eyes were open, but it's like he was empty. He was just staring at nothing, eyes slightly unfocused. He didn't look like Patton anymore. He looked... Haunted. 

"It's going to be okay, Pat," I whispered, "It'll be okay." I didn't really believe it, but it was comforting to say. 

He rolled onto his side and curled up into a tiny ball, burying his head in the folds of my dress. I held him close, feeling a surge of crippling guilt run through my heart. This was my fault. If I had put up more of a fight, if I'd only kept Corruption's attention on me! This was my fault.

Eventually, the quiet cries stopped and Patton fell into a deep sleep. He was exhausted and rightly so, considering everything that had happened. I hoped he wouldn't dream. I knew how much of a Hell they would put someone through.

Slowly, I laid my body down next to him and pulled him to me. He curled into my chest, clutching the front of my dress in a white-knuckled grip. 

I closed my eyes, tears starting to leak from the corners. I broke my promise. I swore that I'd keep him safe, I swore that I would die before I let anything happen to him. But now he's been hurt and I'm not dead. Logan trusted me to protect him! But I failed. I let them down. Both of them. I will never forgive myself.


	3. Part 3

When I finally blinked open my eyes, I noticed that Patton and I had been covered with the little disgrace we call a blanket. It's really nothing more than rags held together with a few threads of string. However, it's the only thing Corruption has given us so we might as well use it.

I also noticed that we must have changed positions while we slept. Patton now had his back pressed against my chest, our legs nesting together. I had my arms wrapped around his waist and I held him close. It was comforting to know that after what he'd just gone through, he was still comfortable with this much physical contact. He was stronger than most of us gave him credit for.

I blinked my eyes sleepily and looked down. A little dot caught my eye. It was on the back of Patton's dress, just over his shoulder blade. It stood out as the dress was a light blue and the spec was almost black. I leaned closer, thinking that it might just be a bit of dirt that I could brush off... 

Oh, how very wrong I was. I brushed my fingers against the fabric, trying to get the blemish off. All I succeeded in doing was to press it against his skin... And the small dot grew. 

I stifled a gasp, quickly looking over at Emile and Caleb. They were both breathing deeply, leaning on each other. Caleb had his unbroken wing extended over Emile and was resting his head on Emile's shoulder. They were obviously asleep. Good. I knew very well that Patton would not want them worrying about him.

I put my hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. I knew firsthand how startled people can get in situations similar to this. I almost broke Emile's nose when he tried to wake me up after Corruption had hurt me for the first time.

Luckily for me, Patton's response was less fight, as mine had been, and more flight. He jerked away from my touch, eyes wide, trying to wriggle away from his unseen assailant. He opened his mouth to scream but I reached over his body and grabbed his hand, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles. He immediately seemed to calm down.

"Azure?" He rasped.

"It's just me," I said, trying to calm my racing heart.

"What's wrong?" He asked, sleep making his voice thick. 

Patton," I whispered, "you're bleeding!"

The reaction was immediate: his entire body tensed up, his eyes went even wider than before, and he started shaking. 

I pulled him up and into a hug, enveloping him with as much comfort as I could muster. "Patton," I whispered, "I have to see them."

He whimpered and shook his head violently.

"Patton, I have to! It's disgusting down here! If they get infected, I won't know how to fix it. That's Logan's domain, not mine!" I pulled away from him and cupped his face with my hands. There were a few unshead tears in his eyes and it made my heart ache. "Please, Pat? Let me help you with this. Let me make up for everything that happened. I hold the responsibility."

He shook his head. "None of this is your fault, Az. I chose to offer myself, not you."

"You wouldn't have had to if-"

"Azure, you can't take responsibility for this. I know you were protecting me, Kiddo. I let it go on for long enough," he shook his head, "It was my turn to protect someone I love."

I was trying not to cry again. Oh, the predicament we were in! How hellish can our lives get? 

I sniffed and wiped the forming tears from my eyes. "Come on," I whispered, "let me clean you up." If the topic was getting too emotional, change it! Works every time.

I knew that he saw my point. If anything got infected down here, which was highly likely considering the environment, there would be no way to help. We had no antibiotics, no bandages, we didn't even have clean water! If something happened and one of us got sick, there would be no stopping it. 

Still, he was hesitant... But at last, he gave in. 

Slowly, he turned around so he was facing away from me. With the same slow pace so I wouldn't scare him, I reached up and unzipped the back of the dress. Patton pulled the sleeves down his arms and the dress fell to his waist.

As the fabric fell away from his body, I let out a horrified gasp. The horror I felt was quickly replaced with a scalding, red- hot, fiery rage. 

Jagged scratches ran down nearly every inch of exposed skin. They looked like they might have been marks made by fingernails... They all seemed to run the same way- starting high, and then being dragged down, but at a diagonal angle. It was like someone was clawing at him, but coming from a different direction. The force with which they must have been inflicted was immense. Most of them were deep, with the skin surrounding the cuts a deep and bruised purple. 6 or 7 of them were still bleeding. The thick fabric of the dress must have covered the other wounds. 

Another thing that made my blood boil was the bite marks. They were everywhere: his neck, his shoulders, his collarbone, some even trailed down his back, overlapping with the gouges! They seemed to stop right before the sleeves and the collar of the dress. It was disgusting. 

How dare he? How DARE he? There was nothing I wanted more right that second than for Corruption to walk through that door so I could kill him myself. It wouldn't be slow, I'd see to that. 

I reached my hand out but hesitated; I didn't want to hurt Patton. But I needed to clean him up, so I knew I didn't really have a choice. 

I didn't want to startle him. After something like this, I got very sensitive to sudden or unexpected contact and Patton is most likely the same. Softly, I whispered, "Can I touch you?" 

Patton nodded, looking down at his lap in shame. I wished I could tell him that this was nothing to be ashamed of, but I knew that he'd just start crying and I would drop everything to comfort him. Focus on the task at hand, then you can get distracted.

I grabbed the softest layer of my dress and pressed it against the deepest cut, wiping away the blood. The sea green fabric was soon stained a deep red. I moved on to the other cuts, doing my best to clean him up. 

I'm not going to ask what happened. I already know the answer. I had the same marks on my own skin, although none of them were as deep or violent as this. 

I finished cleaning him up and put my skirt down, using the other folds of fabric to hide the blood. I don't know what would happen if Corruption saw that I'd ruined one of the dresses. I'd really rather not find out.

Patton was still just sitting there, seemingly lost in his own mind. I knew that look very well. We- Emile, Caleb, and I- did it all the time. Bad memories are hardest to shake.

Gently, I reached out and laid a hand on his bare shoulder. I tried to avoid the marks that Corruption left, but there were just so many! He jumped, letting out a little squeak of fear. My heart shattered for him. Despite what he said before, I still blame myself; I doubt I will ever really forgive myself. 

"Come on," I whispered, "Let's get this thing back on." He nodded dumbly and pulled the sleeves of the gown over his arms again. I zipped up the back, trying not to touch his skin. 

"Pat?" I looked him in the eyes, crushing sadness and worry completely taking over my emotions. He met my gaze quickly before looking down again. 

"Patton, none of this is your fault either." He opened his mouth to say something, most likely contradicting me, but I cut him off, "None of it. Do you understand? The ONLY one at fault here is Corruption." I grabbed his hand, "If I can't blame myself, then you can't either."

He tried to say something, but the only thing that came out was a horrible strangled gasp. Tears began pouring down his face and he put his head in his hands, rocking back and forth. His shoulders were shaking heavily as he just sat there and sobbed.

"Patton, come here," I whispered gently. 

He glanced at me briefly before clambering into my open arms. He laid his head on my collar bone and wrapped his arms around his waist. I folded over, hugging him as close to me as I could. 

I rocked us back and forth, his tears hot on my skin. Eventually, I pulled away a little and slipped his glasses off. I wiped the tears off his cheeks with my thumb, carefully pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

"A-am I... P-pathetic?" He whimpered. His head was resting on my shoulder, eyes shut tight. 

"No!" I whisper shouted, "Absolutely not, Patton!" Where had this come from? "Who the fu- uh, freak, told you that?!"

He smiled slightly as I caught myself before cursing, but it quickly faded. 

Shakily, he whispered, "Corruption said so. While-" he shuddered but recovered relitivly quickly, "while he was doing it all, he told me all sorts of things."

"And you believed him?" I asked incredulously. 

"Why wouldn't I? It was all true." Patton had this look in his eyes. I didn't know what it meant, but I recognized that look. I'd seen it in Virgil's eyes more times than I could count, right before my brother, Roman, would lock him and his boyfriend away for a few hours. I'd even noticed it in Remy's eyes a few times. Emile always sat him down in their room for an hour or so and just cuddled. 

"No, it wasn't true!" I told him, "Whatever that.. that THING, said to you, it wasn't true, Patton!" I needed to get that look out of his eyes. It scared me. 

"You don't understand, Azzy," he seemed to shrink into himself, "Everything he told me... It was like he was reading my mind. Every word that came out of his mouth was something that I'd told myself before. Hearing it out loud just confirmed it."

This was new to me. I knew there had been a time when Logan had hidden them both away, just like Roman does with Virgil. I didn't understand why, but now I'm getting the sinking suspicion that I do know the reason.

"What did he say to you?" I asked, lowering my voice.

Patton sighed as though accepting his fate. "That I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm weak and pathetic. Logan doesn't love me because I screw up too much. My jokes are dumb and no one really likes me. I'm not allowed to be sad! Thomas depends on me to be happy all the time! If I'm not, then I'm just more of a failure than I already am." Patton looked numb while the words flowed out of his mouth. It was clear to me that he fully believed what he was saying.

"Patton..." I whispered, "I swear to you, no one has ever thought any of those things about you. You're beautiful, Logan loves you, I personally love your jokes!" I ran my hand through his hair, still rocking us, "Pat, you're not just Thomas's happy feelings. You said it yourself before! You encompass all of his feelings! Good and bad. You don't have to be happy all the time, no one really is. But we love you just the way you are because you are amazing and beautiful and special and," I took a deep breath, "and you deserve the world. You don't deserve any of this and if I could take it from you, I would."

"I wouldn't want you to," he whispered, "you've already been through enough. You've protected me enough, Azure." Patton sniffed, "Maybe he's right? Maybe I do deserve this? You had to protect me! I can't even stand up for myself and-" he broke off, his jaw snapping shut. He was fidgeting with his hands, scratching his forearm slightly. 

My heart instantly clenched in pain. "No! No, Pat, absolutely not!" He just looked at me, a mind-numbing emptiness in his eyes. What could I do for him? I knew very well that nothing he was saying was true, but HE didn't! I have no idea how long he's been thinking like this, or how to help him! I feel completely... inadequate. 

"I shielded you because I love you, Pat! You practically raised me, you kept me safe, you made sure that I was taken care of! Anything I needed, even if it was inconvenient for you, you ALWAYS put me first!" He'd curled up in my lap again, playing with the embroidered beads on the front of my dress. "Patton. Look at me, please?"

He hesitated, not wanting to look at me. I hated this. I hated how broken he looked, how scared he'd become. Eventually, with a little bit of coaxing, Patton glanced up and met my eyes. I held his gaze steadily, trying to offer a little bit of comfort. "I love you. I love you so much! What's happening to us right now?" I moved my hand about in a general gesture, "That doesn't change anything about how I feel and I know that Logan will never stop loving you." I placed my hand on the side of his face, rubbing my thumb over his cheek. He leaned into my touch a bit, closing his eyes. "Corruption was made to destroy, to take what is good and to twist it and destroy it. He took us because we are good. We represent Thomas's emotions and good memories, so he wants to twist us so we hurt each other and so we hurt Thomas."

"I don't want to hurt anyone..." He whispered. 

"I know you don't," I told him, "I don't want to either. I know for a fact that the last thing Emile wants is to hurt someone... But that's what Corruption is trying to get us to do."

"They're right," a near silent voice whispered, "None of us want to hurt anyone."

Patton and I jumped and looked around. Caleb was sitting up, still with his colorful wing extended over Emile, who was smiling at us. They both looked like crap, but I doubt any of us look like we could be in a beauty pageant right now.

Emile slowly rose to his feet and approached us, kneeling down at my side and placing his hand on my shoulder. Caleb came over as well, looking at Patton with concern in his eyes. 

"Patton, I know what you're feeling," he whispered, "Corruption said the same things to me when I was stuck with him before. He says that I'm never going to be good enough and that Janus doesn't love me. He says that my constant doubt makes everyone hate me and that it would be better for everyone if I just disappeared. He tells me that I should kill myself because no one would care..." Caleb refused to meet any of our eyes but he continued, "Some days I think he might be right. I think that everything he says is true and that I'm useless. I don't matter to anyone so it's just better to give up and embrace death."

Suddenly, Caleb looked up and met our gaze, wiping the tears off his cheeks, "And then once I got out, I realized how wrong he was. I don't think I'd fully realized before how much I meant to Janus, but I never doubted his love again. I didn't realize how much I loved him before. Then, after everything that happened to me, I learned to cherish every moment I had with him: every stolen kiss, every night we spent together, every time he'd hug me or let me trace my fingers over his scales. Everything meant so much more."

Caleb went silent and looked at Emile, as though offering him an invitation. Emile nodded and breathed in deeply.

"Being a therapist isn't easy," he began, "the pressure is sometimes too much to handle and I can't take it anymore. There's so many people depending on me to try and help them and when I can't... I feel like I fail them. Like I let them down and now their relationship is ruined because of me. It's a lot to take and I often overwork myself. I don't even realize I'm doing it until I pass out or when Remy pulls me aside and lets me sleep in his lap. Remy has gotten me through so much, stuff I wouldn't have gotten through without him by my side. Right now, life sucks. Things are happening to us that we will never be able to forget... But you have us and you have Logan because I know how much he cares about you. I know that he will never abandon you and I know that he will always love you."

Emile turned to me. 'Your turn' he seemed to be saying. I sighed and nodded.

"We all feel like shi- uh, crap sometimes. There's not much we can do about it but lean on the people we know care about us. It's never easy to ask for help, and I know that your mind is telling you that you're a burden when you ask someone for help.. but I promise that you're not. We all love you and I know that you will always love us, no matter what. If Logan ever hurts you, I swear that I will beat his a- ugh, I will kick some sense into him until he realizes that he's going against all logic by hurting you."

I smiled sheepishly, "Remy and Roman have gotten me through some tough times as well. They're my brothers and I don't know what I would do without them. I watch all of you in your relationships and yes, I do freak out when one of my OTPs becomes reality... But I also see how much your partners care about you."

"Caleb, you mean the world to Janus. He's plotting with the other sides right now, trying to figure out a way to get you back." 

I turned to Emile, "I have never seen my Starbucks-obsessed brother love anything other than Starbucks. But when he took you on your guys's first date? The buzz that he came home with was completely different than what normally happens when he drinks caffeine. He was on a love high for the next week; all he could talk about was you. He loves you so much." Emile was blushing, smiling a wide grin as I spilled my brother's darkest secrets.

And then I turned to Patton, who was still in my lap. "And you," I smiled, "I was the first person told about your crush on Logan. I was, what? 19? The week after you told me that, do you know who came to my door to confess his crush on you? Logan. I suffered -in silence- for 4 YEARS before he finally got up the guts to ask you out on your first date. You and I would stay up late in the night and talk about how perfect our life was and how you couldn't wait to see Logan the next day. And then while you were gone during the day, Logan would come to me and rant about how much he loved you." I leaned forward and rested my forehead on Patton's, "None of this is going to change the boyish joy either you get when you wrap each other in your arms. It's not going to change how much he loves you and how much he misses you. And it's not going to change how much the rest of us love you, either."

Emile and Caleb both wrapped their arms around us. We were all crying at this point, our emotions already on the breaking point. I'll admit, it felt good to cry over something happy and not the pain that we were constantly in. 

We all know that the people we left behind are doing their best to get us back. That's going to have to be enough to keep us going for however long it takes. However long it takes for Janus to hold Caleb again, stroking his feathers. However long it takes for Remy to pepper Emile's face with kisses and drop his Starbucks to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. It will be enough for however long it takes before Logan can get down on one knee and pull out the ring I know he's hiding in his room; before he finally takes Patton as his own.

It will be enough until we can get home.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Caleb is my best friend's OC and Azure is mine. Caleb represents doubt and he is dating Janus. His animal trait is a sun conure, so that's where the wings came from. Azure represents dreams and they are aromantic, so they aren't dating anyone. Their animal is a rabbit.


End file.
